From the back cover of FIFTY SHADES OF KAYDEN, an erotic novel by C. VERNER
My omni-tool flashes. It has to be—a call from Kayden. I bite my lip. You can do this, Sheploo, I think.
‘Hello, Mr. Sheploo. A pleasure to hear your voice, as ever. You sound well.’
Holy hanar! Even his voice enkindles me…down there. I think about his affluent, sensual pompadour and his low voice, like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It’s richer than a vorcha’s—and even sexier than a turian’s.
My inner prothean threatens me he’ll go extinct if I don’t do something less primitive, while my synthetic subconscious is shouting at me to make a choice and say something to him already!
‘How have you been?’ I ask, biting my bottom lip. ‘We haven’t talked in a while.’
‘Indeed we have not, Sheploo.’
I’ve missed you, I think. But my synthetic subconscious is screaming at me to remember how he went too far the last time we were together. Maybe it was my fault for forgetting horizon was the safe word, but all I can think about is his deep, sexy whisper at the back of my neck, telling me This hurts you.
Oh, geez. My inner prothean rolls all four eyes at me. Get it together, Sheploo. Just say something interesting!
‘I should go,’ I blurt out. Holy hanar, this is harder than I thought it would be! And, from just talking to Kayden, so am I…
Praise for FIFTY SHADES OF KAYDEN:
‘A fascinating trip into the psychology of the most annoying person in the galaxy.’ – Garrus Vakarian
‘Terribly implausible, poorly proofread, strangely addictive. I believe I now have more insight into humanity.’ – EDI
‘Didn’t I read this on the extranet already?’ – Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau
‘Some seriously messed up shit that’d be way better as a video series.’ – James Vega
‘Likely the reason the Reapers sought to destroy all human life.’ – Dr. Liara T’Soni
‘Free from the Shadowbroker for anyone curious yet unwilling to pay for it.’ – The Shadowbroker
‘Every time I catch a student reading this shit, I kick their ass personally.’ – Subject Zero